Getting into a relationship is easy , maintaining it is the true challenge . I have had a few relationships and the fact that I am single right now may not explain how I wrote about this and this subject . This may or may not affect the way you see these posts ,but it for sure will back up what I have to tell you today . Before you read any further I would like you to acknowledge that these are not facts just patterns I noticed throughout my relationships being it romantic or not.
I am not here to generalize anything because that’s ignorant, not even the smartest of the Knowledgeable, could define what makes and doesn’t make a relationship work,so don’t think your relationship is wrong or right based on this or any other post , but your happiness. But if you are here reading this not by mistake ,I will shoot and say things aren’t really okay.
Dating without goals is like going to the grocery store with no money . You either leave unhappy or take something that is not yours.
- If you read my previous post on a similar subject you probably noticed how much I emphasized on COMMUNICATION, it is and it will always be your best ally when in a relationship.
- Why do you date ? It’s one of the most important questions ,why are you with that person? Do you see a future or you are just dating for the sake of it ?
- We all have different goals when it comes to relationships, what’s yours? And make sure you voice them out.
- I read a post once that said ” If you are not going to marry that person don’t date”, and I totally agree with it , just don’t make things serious when you know it’s not going anywhere . If that’s your end goal ( looking for a genuine partner).
- Maybe you want a serious relationship by serious I mean exclusive , with the possibility of building a life together one day, and you have voiced your views to your significant other and you don’t share the same views, DO NOT stay on it thinking you can change him , YOU CAN’T!
- He wont change you and you will suffer , knowing that the only reason you wasted your time is because you are stupid… No man or woman can change unless they want to.
- Hook up, be friends with benefits ,have an open relationship, but stop wasting your time and be vocal . Just make sure you know what is long term goals are.
Characterize people by their actions, and you will never be fooled by their words.
- If the person you are with doesn’t lift you up , humiliates you or puts you down so he can feel better about himself ,jump that boat it’s going to-sink.
- Religion and beliefs is one example , he or she does not always have to agree with you and that’s facts , nor do you, but if he or you uses aggressive words to prove a point, showing no respect or whatsoever , this isn’t the person you want in your life.
- Constructive criticism and destructive criticism are oo very different things. And I am talking about friends also .
- There is a difference between trying to educate you and trying to embarrass you, constructive criticism does not sound like a personal attack ( unless you cant take criticism well/ don’t know the difference)
- And if it feels like the person is trying to take over instead of helping you grow., making you feel useless that ain’t the person for you…This person is not worried about you she wants to stand on top of you.
I want to be with someone that motivates me to become a better person and show me the potential I don’t see in myself.
Lies and promises
When someone lies to you, it’s because they don’t respect you enough to be honest , and they think you are too stupid to know the difference.
- I can’t stress enough about this one , I don’t care if it is a white lie or a lie ,lies are lies ,and they can turn into a habit , as hard as it may be being transparent I would 100% prefer you to hurt me with the truth than comfort me with a lie.
- Empty promises ,why promise in the first place? if you know you can’t make it don’t promise. This is just an unhealthy way of playing with people’s feelings ( not that there is a healthy way to do it ) and at the end trust is lost .
- And when you finally decide to make real promises no one f* *king believes … Empty promises and lies are not different….
- Side note : I’m getting really angry while writing this .
Silly me,expecting too much from people again
With the right person you don’t have to work so hard to be happy , it happens effortlessly;
I have noticed that most of the times , I have chosen people because of details , I have idealized his entire personality based on a simple detailed, I use to fall not for the person but for the idea of person ( mainly on my mind ), that’s why you can’t start something serious overnight.
- If you hate each others habits , it wont work long term , these habits can be emotional,sexual or even habits related to the way you take care of yourself.
- If there are habits that can cause fights soon or later fighting will turn into a routine and you end up not standing each other anymore.
- Emotional instability is one of the reason why relationships end up not working.
Anybody can love your looks, but it’s your heart and personality that makes them stay
- Once you know what you want , you end up feeling comfortable enough to make sure that the people that are important for you know about him. If he doesn’t want to come to your house or wants you to come to his ( I’m not talking second week type of thing ) it’s not going anywhere.
- By the way if you get to a point where you meet his family and see how they behave towards each other, look closely at how he threats his mother /or her father , because that’s he is going to treat you. The mother is the first female reference he has , if he shouts at his own mother , he is going to yell at you too. If he/she treats you amazingly well while dating and when it comes to their parents differently I would be worried , Why does he treat people who are blood related to him so poorly and you an outsider like a princess ? A bad son will never be a good husband.
This is it for today, I will definitely be posting more don’t forget to check my other posts and follow the blog, see you next time!